fridaysixpm
Monday, September 30, 2002
Miscellany
The Age of Innocence
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
The Spiralling Madness
Monday, September 23, 2002
Food Glorious Food?
Friday, September 20, 2002
Without Fear or Favour
Thursday, September 19, 2002
Possibly the Coolest Quiz Concept I've Discovered
85 year old woman beats shit out of robber
Everything You Know is Wrong
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Chicks and Caskets
I'm with Nelson on this one
Monday, September 16, 2002
Things Could Be Worse
Cyber Culture Jamming
Friday, September 13, 2002
Son of a Bush
Thursday, September 12, 2002
Roll on, Great Megapoll
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
The Obligatory September 11 Reflection
Monday, September 09, 2002
Would You Surivive A Horror Movie?
Sunday, September 08, 2002
A Fitting Remembrance
Friday, September 06, 2002
Those Americans...
Wednesday, September 04, 2002
What Women Want. Apparently.
Monday, September 02, 2002
Another Quiz
John Safran's Music Jamboree has ended, and one of the saddest things about this is that the Music Mole will no longer be gently informing us of scandal and gossip in the music world. But never fear! There's a new sculpture in Como Park at the end of my street. I'm not sure how it works metaphysically, but this new scultpure is some kind of reincarnation of the Music Mole...except that he looks more like a pig. Thus, the Music Pig. We've already had a few chats, so I'll share the import of what was spoken.
In the ongoing mystery that is the difference between boys and girls, I have this to contribute:
1. I obtained a copy of Texas' Greatest Hits album. No guys like this album. Strange but true...
2. Girls love Chris Tarrant's hairstyle, as showcased in the AFL Grand Final on the weekend. Guys don't.
I just hope that information can give you guidance as you dance over the delicate ground of inter-gender relations.
As an aside, I think it was amazing to see the camera linger on Mick Malthouse, Collingwood coach, as he cried and cried after the game. Head in his hands, walking sorrowfully, even pulling out a hankie -- you just don't see tough men crying like that very often. I was pretty moved.
By the way, I am currently working on creating that Bloomsbury Group quiz. I know, it's very exciting!
Last week I saw two movies: Austin Powers Goldmember and Y Tu Mama Tambien. Despite their different settings, genres, promotional strategies, merchandise options and languages, they were actually pretty similar. Yes, really. Both films revolved hypnotically around adolescent male sexuality.
I'll admit this isn't exactly unusual for our culture, but I was struck with the gentleness and innocence of the portrayal in both movies. They were funny and sweet, and I won't hear a word against either movie.
A few months ago it seemed like I was the only person alive who was still fascinated by reality TV. "It's a dead horse," everyone was telling me. "Stop flogging it." I even got a few looks suggesting that my opinions were (gasp) passe.
The ratings for Reality TV may have dived here in Australia, but the worldwide cultural phenomenon and its impacts are just beginning. I tender as Exhibit A the proposoal for a new show, American Candidate. The television network pre-screens 100 candidates, and then the public votes to choose one who then runs as an independent candidate for President in 2004. The spin suggests this is true democracy -- allowing ordinary Americans without huge financial backing to participate in politics. It looks to me like television networks gaining still greater control over politics. There are SO many problems with this proposed show.
Incidentally, watching the Emmys last night I had a total mind-spin moment when they referred to the moment when Fink J. Farlsworthy (not his real name, I can't remember his real name) first invented television. Just imagine the profound reverberations of that moment.
I'm doing a little research into genetically modified food at the moment, so I'm on the lookout for cultural references. Y'know, nicknames like "frankenfoods," news stories about GM aid to Africa and the like. What I never in a million years expected to see was an image of a Palestinian carrying a sign that reads "Let's Boycott American Food," where the picture of a hamburger has been altered so that it includes a dead child. The picture was taken at a rally in Damascus. Apparently the same image was also used in a San Francisco protest.
So now a child has to be inside a hamburger before the world pays attention? Is this part of the same phenomenon that inspired the ING ad which features a talking pie? Where others might fail, food is guaranteed to spark our interest. Primitive, pleasure-seeking...ooh, I'm not feeling so good about this aspect of our society. I guess the picture just upset me.
I've never liked the Herald Sun, but their headline piece on S11 protesters today, "Scot Free", is truly, deeply, madly appalling.
It's the neutral and fair-minded lexicography that stands out - "going soft", "sickening", "scot free", "made examples of" and "shocking behaviour" - along with the obligatory mentions of taxpayers' money. Not that this reflects the Herald Sun's view, of course...it's all the opinion of the police guy being interviewed.
I'd like to think there were redeeming aspects to the Herald Sun, but a quick glance through the website only reveals a footy picture that makes you cringe and a pathetic attempt at using dramatic writing to make a chook show seem amusing.
In the frenzied lead up to the results of my megapoll, I thought you'd all appreciate this absolute gem.
what
dr. seuss book warped you?
It's true, I did love that book. Although the analysis may be a little off. Accountant? Hmmmph. The site has its 18+ moments, by the way.
True story, as discovered by me via Daily Rotten News.
"The cashier tried to escape from the man, who attempted to open the cash register with the can opener while holding her, police said.
The elderly woman then beat the man in the head with her metal cane and he fled, knocking her down. The woman "had some choice words for him while she was sitting on the floor," Laporte said."
Take the disinfo quiz to find out just how much you don't know about important stuff. I scored 12. Out of 27. That puts me in the second lowest bracket, well below passsing grade and just a tiny notch above "do you work for the government?" The quiz is a little US specific but, hey, the way things are going over here we obviously need to be up-to-date on our Americana.
Sample question for those who can't be bothered following links but still want a taste:
6. Yale and the University of Pittsburgh each conducted autopsies of people in the US who had supposedly died of Alzheimer's. These studies found that 13 percent and 5.5 percent had actually died of another disease. Which one?
(a) Lou Gehrig's disease
(b) Brain cancer
(c) CJD, the human form of mad cow disease
(d) HIV/AIDS
The brilliant second season of "Six Feet Under" finished last night. It was a traumatic episode with a distressing cliffhanger. Everyone cried. Including me.
In a remarkable display of synchronicity, there has been a collective frisson across the internet today, as people seize upon the news that an Italian funeral company has released a calendar featuring sexy chicks posing next to caskets. The subliminal messages in the pictures, however, occasionally aren't. Heh! Also, what's with the shoes?
"We wanted to make the whole idea of picking your coffin less serious, maybe even make people laugh a bit," Giuseppe Tenara, one of the partners, said.
Well, if we're going to take a light-hearted look at the funeral industry, I really think I prefer Alan Ball's sensitive, beautifully written and warm television series to tacky soft-porn featuring ugly shoes. Although I wouldn't be surprised if the latter was incorporated as a plot element next season. That Alan's a wacky guy....
Political analysis isn't really my thing. I'd really rather talk about TV - it's more creative, more interesting and frankly more intelligent than the dramas being played out on the world stage. But just like a developing nation at an environment summit, my preferences have been hijacked by the monster-truck force of America's self-interest. I can't not comment.
To recap the plot developments of the past week (like all "previouslys" on TV, this may be a little dull to those in the know): George W used the occasion of the anniversary of the September 11 attacks to address the UN on the topic of Iraq. This was hailed by many as a galvanising speech which urged the UN to use its teeth. The speech demanded that Iraq (1) forswear, disclose and destroy its weapons of mass destruction, (2) end its support for terrorism, (3) end persecution of citizens, (4) account for missing Gulf War personnel and (5) cease illicit oil trading.
OK. That's not a small order. So for George W to turn around after Iraq has made a significant step towards fulfilling demand number 1 and say "No...that's not enough..." is a bit rich. I'm as sceptical as the next ex-Arts-student, and of course we should be aware of potential ulterior motives, but condition-free weapons inspections are good things.
Iraq's commitment is a positive step. For the US to declare it a "ploy" is premature. As Nelson Mandela called it, the dismissive response of the US has exposed it as a world bully.
In the IWWTDAEITFOLC (Imperial War Waged To Defend America's Ego In The Face Of Legitimate Criticism), mere diplomacy will pose no obstacle to a US attack on Iraq.
I mean, I've had the odd difference opinion with my family members (mad props to you all), but being Philip Ruddock's daughter looks seriously unfun.
Check out Egray, where you can bid for evil legislation enacted by Californian governor Gray Davis. Look before it gets closed down.
I love satire which hits two targets at once.
It's taken me a few days, but I think I'm finally ready to take a look at some of the stuff that went down last week: specifically, George Dubyah's speech to the UN about Iraq. Let's walk through the rhetoric.
"We've accomplished much in the last year -- in Afghanistan and beyond. We have much yet to do -- in Afghanistan and beyond."
Accomplished much? Who is he kidding? The US campaign in Afghanistan spectacularly failed to bring them the one result they wanted - bin Laden. All they managed to "accomplish" was a civilian casualty rate higher than that of the September 11 attacks.
"The founding members [of the UN] resolved that the peace of the world must never again be destroyed by the will and wickedness of any man."
So now Saddam is Hitler? Subtle, George, subtle.
"This threat [of terrorism] hides within many nations, including my own. In cells and camps, terrorists are plotting further destruction, and building new bases for their war against civilization. And our greatest fear is that terrorists will find a shortcut to their mad ambitions when an outlaw regime supplies them with the technologies to kill on a massive scale."
OK, I was surprised to see those three little words - "including my own" - in that paragraph. Is this a sweetener, to make Bush's project somehow seem more international? Even if it is, by the next sentence, W is clearly talking about the other again -- outlaw regimes. There's no way the US could be conceptualised as an outlaw regime, rogue nation, evil empire....
"In one place -- in one regime -- we find all these dangers, in their most lethal and aggressive forms, exactly the kind of aggressive threat the United Nations was born to confront."
Born to confront? Give me a fucking break. I guess at least the US wasn't born to be wild, or born to rock, or whatever.
"By his deceptions and his cruelties, Saddam Hussein has made the case against himself."
Yeah, that's right. Saddam has been whipping the world into a frenzy. It seems I just can't turn on the TV without seeing Saddam's face, urging me to attack him.
"The history, the logic, and the facts lead to one conclusion: Saddam Hussein's regime is a grave and gathering danger. To suggest otherwise is to hope against the evidence."
Aah, the logic. The facts. The history. The evidence. As if I could ever argue against these. They're all such unproblematic, objective, authoritative bedrocks. And as for "the grave and gathering danger"....isn't that a copyright violation of some blues song?
"Events can turn in one of two ways...We must choose between a world of fear and a world of progress."
I guess no-one told George how much I hate false binary oppositions. Events can turn in a million ways, buddy, and to suggest some "either-or" dichotomy is frankly offensive.
As the Guardian pointed out, the speech was pretty astutely pitched for any listening Americans. Good guys = us. It's the rest of the world that was pissed off by Bush's blinkered balderdash.
While we're breaking down Bush's UN oratory, it's interesting to look at the speech on Israel and Palestine he made in June. This speech is notable for its logical structure; a repeating AB motif where "A" is a manipulative rhetorical flourish and "B" is a statement of something America wants. For example:
A: "Yet, at this critical moment, if all parties will break with the past and set out on a new path, we can overcome the darkness with the light of hope."
B: "Peace requires a new and different Palestinian leadership."
That old proof-by-proximity strategy...if two statements are made next to each other, then they are somehow connected. Subtle.
Of course, the best part of both speeches, as Lyn observed, was the "thankyou very much" at the end. Bush has left the building. Nice dream.
After an extended voting period to allow for those living in rural communities to have their say, the results of the second megapoll are in. We want to see Britney's cameo in Buffy. According to Sky News, this was going to happen for real. That was in May. The word on the forums, though, is that Sarah Michelle vetoed the idea. Oooh, bitchiness!
Whatever ends up on the TV, I am sure that many, many fanfic writers have spent much time developing this scenario in the wee small hours as they hunch over their blinking screens.
Here's my still-being-formed thoughts for today, inspired by an article written by Susan Sontag (who we love) for the NY Times. I'd give you a link but it's all password protected.
According to Sontag, the War on Terrorism isn't a war at all. It's a statement by America that it intends to operate according to a war-time logic that brooks no limits on its power. Hence, America's refusal to sign any international treaty (like Kyoto) that might at some stage limit its actions. Hence again, the absence of reflection and debate that has accompanied the anniversary of September 11. Ceremonies have borrowed on set pieces such as the Gettysburg Address as a way of avoiding actual engagement with the issues raised by the terrorist attacks.
As Sontag puts it:
"Such an anachronistic borrowing of eloquence is in the grand tradition of American anti-intellectualism: the suspicion of thought, of words. Hiding behind the humbug that the attack of last Sept. 11 was too horrible, too devastating, too painful, too tragic for words, that words could not possibly express our grief and indignation, our leaders have a perfect excuse to drape themselves in others' words, now voided of content."
The pseudo nature of the War Against Terrorism can also be seen as one of the reasons for the sheer volume of September 11 commemorations: "This is a phantom war and therefore in need of an anniversary." A war this vague, with no timeline of its own and such a diffuse target, is in dire need of markers.
I'm concerned by the media frenzy that has accompanied the one year anniversary of September 11. I think many journalists have been out-of-order in seeking out individual stories of grief in order to justify our collective shock. I think the barrage of distressing images is unnecessary. And I do think, in general, the coverage has not been accompanied by analysis. I don't know if the anniversary will make more Australians supportive of "Son of A Bush", but I'm really suspicious of the role the footage from September 11 will play in our collective political decision making.
I asked myself recently whether or not television could play a role in the healing process. I've decided that for me, on this issue, it can't. I watch telelvision in a participatory way - I engage, discuss, debate and read as well as watch. The shows being presented about September 11 don't seem to allow room for me to think back. In this instance, TV is too one-sided a medium, and too isolating, for the exchange of ideas that needs to take place.
The inclusion of this quiz on my website is basically a big shout-out to Lyn, who I'm sure would have written much cooler questions. In the meantime...
Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty
There's been a lot of talk about how we should remember the attack in New York last year. Maybe too much talk. This song is not a rebel song. This song is....wait, sorry, I got carried away for a moment.
Well, I stand by a semi-flippant remark I made in a chat room last week. Television is the most fitting forum for remembrance, since our entire experience of the terrorist attack was dominated by the televisual medium. The Onion agrees with me in a typically insightful and biting article, "Who Will Bring Closure?" An excerpt:
"Dr. Andrea Herman, a University of Maryland psychiatrist and licensed grief counselor, has developed the following set of guidelines to help Americans get through the anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks:
Ouch, some of those hurt! Anyway, the concept I'm musing over is whether or not television has healing power. I'm not convinced, but neither am I entirely dismissive.
I came across an article describing the sacking of a US Navy dude for not being able to control his crew. The most amazing aspect of the piece was its description of the class structure on board the ship:
"Boarding one is like entering a time warp back to the former Deep South. In the bowels of the carrier, where the crew are cooped up for six months at a time, manual workers sleep dozens to a room. Most are black or Puerto Rican, paid $7,000 to $10,000 a year to work in the broiling temperatures of the kitchens and engine rooms.
"As you move up the 11 segregated levels towards the pilots’ quarters beneath the deck, the living quarters become larger, the air cooler and the skin tones lighter. Officers exist in almost total ignorance of the teeming world beneath them, passing around second-hand tales of murders, gang-fights and drug abuse. Visitors are banned from venturing down to the lowest decks, which swelter next to the vast nuclearpowered engines."
To me, this sounds FREAKY. It reminds me a little of The Editing Room's review of the film Titanic (and its curiously wimpy James Horner soundtrack):
LEONARDO DICAPRIO
Hello, I'm... "Jack Dawson". I'm LOWER
CLASS.
KATE WINSLET
I'm terribly attracted to you, except
that I'm.... UPPER CLASS.
SHIP'S CAPTAIN
Excuse me, but every half hour I have
to bash all the LOWER CLASS passengers
in the kneecap with this granite slab.
He bashes LEONARDO's kneecap. He writhes in pain. All the
UPPER CLASS passengers come by and SPIT on his wound, and
then set him on FIRE.
LEONARDO DICAPRIO
Oh if only I weren't.....LOWER CLASS.
See, that was funny. The real-life US Navy stuff, however, is just disturbing.
Channel surfing last night, I saw a good-sized chunk of Channel 10's special presentation, "What Women Want". It's a fairly strange cultural phenomenon, I think -- kind of feminism meets Spring Fashion Week meets Toastmasters International. With a twist of Marie Claire. I think I can capture the vibe by telling you that the night was sponsored by Diet Coke. That said, there were a few moments during the broadcast when I was swept up in admiration for the grrls who spoke. My role models, if you will.
Claudia Karvan. This chick glows on screen anyway, and her speech last night was so genuine and vulnerable it almost made me cry. In the clearest possible language, she denounced Australia's treatment of asylum-seekers - a no-risk speech to make at a uni rally, but not so easy amongst the well-heeled glitterati at Melbourne's Town Hall.
Karvan side-stepped all the easy puns, cliches and rhetorical devices available to celebrity speakers and talked about what mattered. As a feminist manifesto, the speech was notable for not even mentioning women (as far as I could tell). Maybe that marks a lost opportunity, but in the context of a night all about women, it just made Karvan's speech stand out even more.
The other great speaker I saw was Amanda Keller. That woman is a magnificent orator.
The night had its disappointments and I'm sorry to say that Natasha Stott Despoja was one of them. Her unconvincing speech was a loosely-connected string of truisms and cliches, with nary a story to give it substance. Perhaps Stott-Despoja was feeling burned by the media, but this forum was something of a safe space where she had the opportunity to forsake her usual blurty style (check out those photos!) and make a real connection with the audience.
I like this one -- not just because it tells me how great I am, but also because I'm sure the sirens thing is an oblique "O Brother Where Art Thou" shout-out.
You are a siren.
What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox
The Music Pig and Moby
Beth: Good afternoon, Music Pig.
MP: Good afternoon, Beth. Although it's not such a good afternoon for Moby.
Beth: Why is that, Music Pig?
MP: Well, Beth, it appears that Moby is not too happy with the sales of his latest record. He says that his fans are too technologically savvy to do something as passe as actually buy a record.
Beth: What are they doing instead?
MP: I'm glad you asked, Beth. They're downloading it or burning copies from their friends.
Beth: That must make Moby pretty mad, Music Pig.
MP: Not at all. Moby is incapable of feeling anger. He just wants the record industry to re-evaluate the way it measures success.
Beth: How very enlightened.
MP: Indeed.
